Five Months Postpartum - my thoughts and journey so far...

I have never shared my pregnancy story with you all, perhaps I will at one point or another ... however, I thought that I could share my postpartum journey with you as I am going through it right now. As this is my own personal experience, please keep in mind that nothing below is meant to be insensitive to others - it is what I have personally experienced and how it has made me feel. I've talked to a few new moms recently who have also shared the same views/frustrations so I thought that someone else would probably read this and have felt or is currently feeling the same way at some point as well. Also, keep in mind that I had to narrow it down to just the main points so far, I can't share every single thought... so here goes....

1. Breastfeeding vs. Formula ~ I was one of those women who never had her milk production come in. I don't want to hear that I haven't tried hard enough, because I have. I tried lactation cookies, teas, soups and other concoctions. There was lots of frustration, guilt and overall anxiety about how I couldn't produce milk. My doctor even told me, sometimes it just doesn't happen to some women and you are one of them... and even my mom was asking why I was torturing myself to try to do this. Early on, my baby was losing too much body weight and was really battling jaundice and was told that he's not being fed enough.. so I finally turned to formula. My pediatrician said 15 minutes per boob and then the rest, top him up with formula - at a certain point if you're not producing enough milk and your baby is just working hard to suck nothing out... they are just burning more calories than they are absorbing. That made total sense to me ~ I am here to do what is best for my baby. That is my number one priority. 

What is really frustrating is those who (whether intentionally or not) like to express their opinions on formula feeding vs. breast feeding. How they never know what it's like to ever have had to use a bottle or wash one... how they're baby is only ever breast fed and how they're so lucky to have enough breast milk. I guess it's just knowing who you're talking to.. and knowing that each person has their sensitivities right? It's almost like now I completely get why it's so bad to ask people "when are you planning to have kids?" ~ How do you know that they're not trying? How do you know that they're not experiencing difficulties? How do you know that its not a choice that they're not having kids? Sometimes, it's better to just keep comments to yourself....there's no need to compare yourself to others. 

2. Unsolicited Advice ~ If you have to begin your sentence to someone with - here's some unsolicited advice for you... chances are, don't finish that sentence and don't bother saying what you have to say, especially if you are so distant from that person. 

3. Having an off day or days ~ We all have bad days there's no doubt about it, but just because I am a new mom, it does not automatically translate to postpartum depression. I completely agree that Postpartum Depression is a very serious topic that has to be discussed and there should be more transparency about it, however what I am talking about is just how being a new mom... and if I am just having a rough few days and you can see that I am having it, it should not directly translate to me having depression and thereby someone suggesting that I need help for it. I had someone very distant to me read on my instagram post that I was having a rough few days ~ and then began the "unsolicited advice on what I should do as a new mom and how I should address my depression before it gets worse". I don't think that is truly the way to handle something like that.. especially not via a DM on Instagram. 

4. Hairloss and Swelling ~ I was fortunate enough to not experience any swelling during my pregnancy, but approximately 1 month postpartum my ankles began to swell so badly that I couldn't even sit or stand without the skin in my ankles hurting when it folded because it was so swollen. It almost felt like the circulation was cutting off when I sat down. The hair loss is no joke - just when you think that the huge chunk you have lost during the shower in your drain is it, you then blow-dry your hair and the entire floor is covered with hair once again. That beautiful hair you have grown during pregnancy is now all on the floor and you have just about enough to make your very own cousin IT from Addams Family. That does stop though, now that I am 5 months postpartum it has finally slowed down and I see the baby hairs growing. 

5. The return of the period ~ I actually got my period back 4 months postpartum and yes it did suck after not having my period for about a year. What makes it worse is when people ask you if you got your period back yet and they say oh wow that sucks, I don't know how it feels like because I didn't get back for a year and a half. don't do that ...repeatedly to someone. It's not nice.

6. Getting intimate again... ~ when the time comes that you want to get intimate again after you have had your baby, know that things will definitely be different. Your lady bits went through alot during childbirth so sometimes, you may not be too loose but there are also cases where when you are stitched up, you have been over corrected. 

For those of you who are moms... what have been some of your postpartum experiences? 

Until next time, XO - M.


  1. oh you KNOW I feel you on this post! There is definitely a difference between the baby blues and PPD and PPA. I feel like moms who have been through PPD just want to help because they know the darkness, but if you're not a doctor you should probably avoid diagnosing people by a single instagram post!

    1. Oh i completely agree... or its almost like ... theres no issue with "checking in" on how they feel.. as opposed to immediately jumping to ... you need help. go see a therapist..... *face palm*

  2. Love this post! It's nice to hear other mom's stories - I have had 2 and could never produce breast milk for either. I don't know why people ask "are you breast-feeding" as one of the first questions (unless you are my doctor it shouldn't matter). I think I also experienced mood swings to the extreme (I can tend to be a little emotional as well and throw in some lack of sleep - babies are hard!)

    1. it's so hard! I was talkin to my coworker at a work social - and the first thing she asked me was "are you breastfeeding"? since when is that like an appropriate thing to ask .. hhaha especially if you haven't seen them in over 1-2 years. I think she had a point though, she was having issues with BF-ing and she said people always love to say "breast is best" but she said that people really should start advocating more for "fed is best" and i totally agree! It's hard too when people think they know it all.... how they say... oh but its all about supply and demand, you should keep trying.......... i dont think they can say i havent tried... i literally was alternating between pumping and feeding for a month and i killed myself with exhaustion. I had to top up with formula everytime!